Dear Grandma,

On the next booze run, say noon-ish, please don't forget to tuck your oversized t-shirt into your sweet tight  shorts...Also, don't forget to wear your long softball socks sticking out over your metal studded cowboy boots.   I think for Christmas I'm going to buy you a "walking stick" because they look like more of an accessory, than a stability issue.

...but really don't forget the booze.